SHOW ME THE MONEY
Seriously, SHOW ME THE MONEY. It's not cheap to run a campaign in 2006, especially when I have John Hall chasing me at every step of the CAMPAIGN. DAMNED DEMOCRATS anyway! Don't they know that I am the PRINCESS of the PAC's, queen of ALL VOTE SELLERS in the Congress...well, now that Ney, Cunningham and DeLay are gone I am!
Buy My Vote Fund Raising Program
A girl has to do what a girl has to do...know what I mean? I need CASH, and LOTS of it...especially since I am doing my very best to distance myself from George Bush. So, please support my (supposed) Independent Voice in Congress Campaign Fund by BUYING MY VOTE...starting PAC donations for this special fund raiser start at $5,000.
Donate To John Hall For Congress...SEND ME HOME
Out of Office, Sue Kelly can finally do something worth while...help get a fine cat on Technorati
GAWD! Just what I didn't NEED, another scandal five weeks out from the Elections, and involving CHILDREN no less. I am trying to FLY LOW, but certain of my constituents are really annoying me with nasty letters demanding I take a public stand on this whole FOLEY scandal. They just don't understand how politics work.
OK, so maybe a few of us knew about it for...well, almost a year, but we thought we could keep it under wraps under AFTER the elections this November, and then who would have really cared. A couple days, maybe a week of ugly headlines, Foley would have resigned (as he did now), and we could have replaced him with a Republican of OUR CHOICE.
Why can't the little people just let this FADE AWAY? Next thing you know, someone is going to be calling me on the carpet about my remarks when I returned from Iraq and declared we had WON THE WAR. OK, so I was a bit optimistic at the time, but I still think Bush is such a POWERFUL man, and that cute little smirk of his is so hard to resist, which is why I still support him.
Don't you JUST LOVE this picture of me? My best thank you for your donation handshake pose! Took me two full terms to PASTE that smile on!
John Hall is not the only thing that is upsetting me these days...someone should REALLY do something about those vile characters over at TAKE 19. For the life of me, do not understand those little people and their desire to run me out of office...after all, not like I have ever done anything to them (or for them).
They are bothering me AGAIN! It seems they caught me trying to claim a BILL as MY OWN! That's what we Republicans do....especially in and election year. When they called me on it, I had one of my staffers fix it...I don't deal with little things like that, they are BENEATH ME.
I figured they would see the FIX, and leave the issue be and had said staffer go back and put it back to the way it way, "The Kelly Bill". BUT NOT, those nosy busy bodies ARE WATCHING MY EVERY MOVE, and called me on it again! Wish I had more pull, I'd have the NSA spying on everyone ASSOCIATED with that group! I am seriously, they have to be subversives, there is NO OTHER EXPLANATION for their constant attention to me.
It was BAD ENOUGH to know that John Hall was at MY AIRPORT speaking out against me and my good buddy George Bush this week, but now he has GONE TO FAR! I live in Katonah, and Golden Bridge is practically IN MY BACK YARD! How DARE HE have a meet the candidate night right in my BACK YARD with my constituents...he's got a LOT OF DAMN NERVE!
I'm not the least bit worried about principle boy or Rigger...I'd eat them alive in the November elections...I do so LOVE fresh young meat. Judy Aydelott...come on, she's from Katonah...need I say more? Do you think it's and accident she conveniently CHANGED PARTIES? But this John Hall...he's really PISSING ME OFF.
Dear Westchester County Democrats --
Come meet John Hall, the leading Democratic candidate for Congress, this Friday at a rally in northern Westchester.
John will be speaking candidly on the issues and taking questions from voters like you, in anticipation of the Sept. 12 Democratic primary. This event is open to the public; feel free to invite your friends and family who haven't met John yet.
Refreshments will be served.
When: Friday, Sept. 8, 7:30 pm
Where: The Barn, at 11 Hall Ave, in Goldens Bridge
Directions: Take Route 138 to Pond St. Once on Pond St., take first left onto Hall Ave. The Barn is 100 yards further on the left. Arrive early for good parking. (Visit our site for map & directions)
RSVP / More Info: Nedda Schoenfeld, 914-232-4265, email@example.com
Hope to see you there!
After six terms, I REALLY HATE ELECTIONS...all those attacks on my character, the name callers coming out of the wood work in droves. Just who do these sniveling little DWEEBS think they are to question my record in Congress? DAMMIT, I am proud of my record, have always voted to TAKE CARE OF MY FRIENDS. I dare ANY OF YOU to make calls to ANY ONE on my contributions list and find one of them that will say ANYTHING BAD ABOUT ME!
You cannot do it, because I keep my promises (made to them at exclusively private fund raisers away from prying eyes and ears). The pharmacy lobby, or my friends in oil and gas...WHY, THEY ADORE ME! Tom DeLay...he'll tell you I am a trooper, I was ALWAYS a vote he COULD COUNT ON! Ask my business contingent...I was not about to let them lose their tax breaks for moving production off shore, that would have HURT THEIR PROFITS. Look at some of my campaign donations below, compare them to my voting record, and you will see for yourselves, I AM A WOMAN OF MY WORD.
What will Sue Kelly put on the Auction Block next?
HOW KELLY RESPONDS TO HIGH ENERGY PRICES
REP. KELLY PUTS BIG BUSINESS AHEAD OF AMERICAN WORKERS
GOP "HEALTH CARE"
TIES WITH TOM DELAY
Kelly has taken:
With all of these ties to the DeLay mess, is it any surprise that Kelly has:
I have had SUCH A DAY! Can you believe it, John Hall is actually going to be holding a press conference tomorrow at MY AIR PORT...that man is really getting on my nerves! Pity he's not a horse, I could just take him out in the field and shoot him.
Anywhoooooooo.....with the Fall Election's almost upon us, I am thinking a SHOPPING SPREE at the local Nordstrom's is just what this LADY needs...which is where your opportunity could be knocking. I'm looking for a patron for the day, and this is your chance to spend the day with a WOMAN OF POWER!
We'll do lunch. I'll do most of the talking, and you do most of the admiring...after all, I may be almost 70, but age I am told is ENTICING to some young men. Not to worry, if any one sees us together, I'll tell them I am interviewing you as a possible Congressional Aide...of course, we'll be working many LATE NIGHTS together.
Don't worry about resumes...are you masculine, RICH (preferrably FILTHY RICH), considered ruggedly attractive, and YOUNG...the young ones are always so VIRILE. Would you enjoy helping me pick out say...ten or so SHARP OUTFITS for my fall campaign...they'll be charged to your American Express Card, but we'll say they were and in kind donation to the Campaign.
Leave me a comment, and let's see where this goes...you must have a revealing photo....you know how it is, with this whole TERROR thing, I have to CHECK YOU OUT....security you know.
WELL, I see where another newspaper is trying to MAKE A BIG DEAL of Sweeney and I using Yacht's for fund raising events...HELLO...one of the perks of being a Congress Woman, one of the perks of sitting on certain committees is FREE BOAT RIDES, think of them as FACT FINDING FUNDRAISERS!
It is how we here in Congress stay in touch with certain of our constituents...trust me, if you had a 40-60 foot Yacht and a close intimate circle of RICH FRIENDS that wanted to meet with me, I would be more than happy to accomdate you as well...after all, I am if nothing else an EQUAL ACCESS Congress Woman...you have CASH, and LOTS of it, and I have time for you. After all, as they say in the oil business, we have to prime the pump now and then! Besides, have you checked out the ammenities of the cute little dingy I was in...TO DIE FOR!
U.S. Rep. John Sweeney, R-Clifton Park, made out-of-state headlines this weekend for being one of the top beneficiaries of the National Marine Manufacturers Association’s largesse and proposing legislation that would benefit the special interest group.
The NMMA’s lobbying efforts, which extended to the loan of a 38-foot luxury yacht to certain members of Congress - including Sweeney - for fundraising cruises on the Potomac, got considerable ink in Sunday’s Chicago Tribune.
According to the story, the cruises - a popular perk among Capitol Hill staffers and lawmakers - were suspended this year in the wake of the Jack Abramoff lobbying scandal.
But that hasn’t stopped the NMMA from continuing to dole out considerable sums of campaign contributions in hopes of currying favor with those who have influence over federal boating industry regulations.
According to the Tribune, the NMMA used to have photos posted on its Web site of lawmakers and their staffers enjoying themselves on yacht cruises. But since the paper published, the site has been taken down for “routine maintenance.”
Election time is always SO DIFFICULT...so many little people wanting to feel as if they are plugged in and a part of my campaign.
It's really bothersome, as I don't really need their small token donations to my campaign, and try to keep my distance from them most of the time...they are SO WHINY. Yet, they do VOTE, and that means I have to make them feel as if they have been EMPOWERED.
So, for the LITTLE PEOPLE, I am kicking off my semi-annual Campaign Bumper Sticker Fund Raising Event. I don't have my Pay Pal account set up yet, but thought I would give all of you a PREVIEW of this election's sticker...I'll be sending out one of these to each of you that reserves one in advance wtih a $1,000 dollar donation to my Campaign. For the rest of you, stickers will be available through Pay Pal for a token sign of your appreciation of just $100!
Greetings Little Ones:
I know, condescending, but we seriously need to have a talk on the War in Iraq. I am taking a whole lot of grief from many of YOU voters in the 19th District for Supporting the War in Iraq, and George Bush's "Stay the Course" approach. Well, I am TIRED of your incessant whining on this issue...don't you get it? WAR IS GOOD FOR BUSINESS, and you know how much I love ANYTHING that is good for business.
OK. I know over 18,000 fine young men and women have been seriously maimed and injured in George's war...you don't mind if I call him George do you? I'm also well aware that the death count of our fine young fighting men and women is now over 2600, and that is TRAGIC, but it's not my children over there in the desert sands...WHY WOULD IT BE? Let's be real, rarely will you see the child of a wealthy family DIE IN WAR, it's NOT WHAT WE ARE CALLED TOO IN LIFE. It's OUR JOB to profit from war, not die in them. I tried to talk to Senator McCain about his son's enlistment, but he would not listen to me, so what can I do?
Do you know how many pieces of military equipment are going to need to be replaced in the coming years? Are you aware of the BILLIONS of dollars that will create in profits...why Haliburton alone could profit by as much as ten billion if we are lucky. You know I am plugged into the construction PAC's, and let's face it...there is GOLD in rebuilding Iraq...I'd even support a full blown invasion of Iran if you folks would stop your whining long enough for us to bring it up for a vote. So, the next time you want to get ALL SELFISH on me, and call for troop reductions, remember that STAYING THE COURSE is good for business. Also, no more little stunts like the one below trying to play on peoples sympathies...it just isn't fair to me as your representative in Washington, DC, and it makes me LOOK MEAN and that is simply unacceptable.
Mom, I'm Home
You could BUY ME this at Neiman Marcus Darlings!
Don't you ADORE this stunning little number? A tasteful and very elegantly discrete way of letting my SPECIAL FRIENDS on the religious right know that I am still on their side, while at the same time distancing myself from President Bush. The cost is just under $4,000, so not quite enough to buy my vote, but you WOULD GET MY ATTENTION! Of course, a couple of pairs of shoes (I LOVE SHOES) and a matching handbag should put you over $5,000.
Cash is nice, but remember...diamonds ARE A GIRLS BEST FRIEND.
Greetings Peons and Peasants:
I know everyone see's the Sue Kelly that Sue Kelly wants them to see, and that is fine. Have you seen the latest commercial? I just ADORE that, "I'm the independent voice in Congress" line...thought up that one all BY MYSELF! Voters can be so gullible you know...but of course you do, you are one of them, or you would not be visiting this site.
See, I am the EVIL Sue Kelly, the one carefully hidden with smoke and mirrors, the one...well, the one I don't want you to see. However, this is the internet, and it is an election year...so, with the help of someone's vivid imagination, you are being given another view of Sue Kelly the candidate for the 19th Congressional District here in New York.
It seemed as if this election WAS IN THE BAG...another Katonah sista in Judy Aydelott entered the Democratic Primary with lots of money, and what kind of competition was principle boy? Who would have thought that a REAL CONTENDER would step into the ring against ME! Judy and I had it all planned out, but now I have to switch to PLAN B! Can someone PLEASE help me come up with a plan B?
As we get closer to November, I'll be posting here often, giving my people (bankers, investment brokers, fortune 500 companies pretending to be small business people) up to the minute updates on the REAL SUE KELLY....you know, the spoiled and pampered rich girl from Katonah that I don't want the voters to know about....winking at Donald Trump, and blowing Tom DeLay a kiss.
Toodles Till My Next Post